


Raison d'être

by SmelliestOgre



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Drarry, Fluff and Angst, Harry Is Oblivious, Harry Potter Epilogue What Epilogue | EWE, Hogwarts Eighth Year, M/M, Mates, Narcissa is a good mom, No Smut, Pining Draco Malfoy, Slow Burn, Veela Draco Malfoy, bottom energy harry, dracos a little shit but we love him anyway, dracos personality is just more dominate, ill add more tags as i finish writing, im kinda making up everything about veelas so dont expect it to be like cannon, moaning myrtle is good friend, mostly supportive hermione and ron, not weird mate stuff, top energy draco
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-30
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-05 19:48:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 7,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25600855
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SmelliestOgre/pseuds/SmelliestOgre
Summary: I dont think anyone expected Harry and Draco to become friends oranythingclose to lovers. least of all Draco.AKADracos a veela and Harry is his mate :)
Relationships: Draco Malfoy/Harry Potter, Hermione Granger/Ron Weasley
Comments: 10
Kudos: 91





	1. 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ShamelessWaffle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShamelessWaffle/gifts).



> This is the first time I'm posting a fanfic seriously so please feel free to give me constructive criticism. I'm pretty hard on myself when it comes to anything really. So, telling me what you think would really be a help♡ ~~(*=*)~~
> 
> I be out here whilin, it took me a month to write this first chapter smh

_Dracos smiling, holding Harry around the shoulders. They're folded against each other, gazing into the warm fireplace in front of them, on the fluffiest armchair. It's the Gryffindor common room and people are everywhere, laughing and playing around. It's cozy. There's no merpeople staring down at him with a sneer, or 3rd years hiding behind corners waiting to hex him. Harry's head is resting on the crook of Dracos neck. Draco couldn't be happier.  
_

Draco sits up, hands shooting straight to his head, where the worst of the pain resides. He groans and casts a Tempus charm.7:34 AM. Normally Draco would just get ready and wait for a reasonable time to go to breakfast, but he's been promising himself that he would tell Narcissa the truth. Anxiously pulling on his clothes he sets up the fireplace ready to call her. He sits for a moment, then Narcissa’s head sits in the flames, and he straightens his back along with his cloak.

“Mother,”

“Yes? This was quite a spontaneous call, was it not?” She asks expectantly.

“I Apologize. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.”

“Don't be frivolous, you know I'm on house arrest.” She says offhandedly, giving him a look as if to say “Stop with the formalities.” Draco nods.

“I would like to make you aware of a certain situation I've been experiencing,” He says guiltily, trying not to fidget becoming arduous. Narcissa hums and Draco continues. “I'm sure you're aware of my being untruthful on the subject of mates. Well, I had the dream on my 18th birthday, and I've been having it every night since then, and horrible pains when I'm awake. They just started recently, I assume they are from consciously keeping myself away from my mate. I wanted to ask for a line of action.” Draco loosens up, finally becoming comfortable. He runs his hand through his hair and rests his chin on his fist.

“Draco, you know in order for me to help you I need to know who it is?” She raises her brow, seeming to feel his discomfort surrounding this mysterious person. He lets out a puff of air, preparing himself. He knows his mother loves him, but even he felt disappointed in himself when he found out who his mate was. 

“Promise you won't be angry?” He gives his mother a hopeful look.

“Promises are for children who do not trust the people they confide in.” She gives her son an exasperated look, ready to help him already.

“Right. It's Harry.” Draco looks to the side, biting his lip, readying himself for a lecture.

“That's it? I thought you would say Pansy, I know she's your best friend, but she's horrid. Anyone who's lived with you for any amount of time could've guessed that. My dragon,” Draco giggles, relieved. “You know how mates are chosen, don't you?” He shakes his head ashamedly.  
“Oh, so you didn't study Veelas when I told you to?” She asks him playfully as he sputters. “Nevermind that. Draco, a mate is chosen because you've fallen in love with someone your heart deems perfect for you. It isn't random, your Veela blood doesn't make you love someone, you do that on your own. Your heart just tells you when you're right in giving that love. So, I am not disappointed in you for falling in love with someone that can give you what you need,” She smiles sweetly, wishing she could hug him in that moment. Her mood quickly shifts though, ready to reprimand him.

“But I am disappointed in you for lying and hurting yourself even though you could've easily fixed the problem. I can't believe you think I would hate you for who you love, maybe your father would, but he's no Veela so he wouldn't understand, anyway.” She looks stern, and Draco’s surprised. Not ready for this lecture.

“All right, that's much better than what I thought it was. I didn't read on it because it scared me. Mother, the only problem is, even if he is perfect for me, we’ve hated each other since first year.” He whines towards the end, but quickly stops when he realizes how childlike he sounds.

“Obviously not for you if he's your mate. It doesn't matter anyway, I suggest you just tell him. From what you've told me in the past, it always seems to be you starting the fights. Maybe he doesn't dislike you as much as you think.” Draco lets out a huff, deciding he'll make a plan during breakfast.

“I've got to eat. Thank you for talking mother, I love you.”

“I love you too Draco, now if you would not mind, I quite fancy you not being single for the rest of your life. Go get your man.” Draco cuts off the call with a blush and a curse of embarrassment.

``

Immediately when sitting down at the Slytherin table, Draco informs Pansy of the conversation he just had.

“You're telling me, Your highly graceful mother, wants you to just outright tell him. No tact whatsoever!” Draco shushes her, swiftly reminding his best friend that there are many people around that could be listening. She frowns, not liking the forced silence.

“I know it sounds crazy, but maybe she's right.”

“Definitely not! It would be the quickest rejection in history.” She whisper shouts.

“What do you expect me to do then, Pans?” Draco raises his brow.

“Well first, you've got to tell him you're sorry, for like, everything. Then you have to ease him into a conversation about feelings, not necessarily romantic. Last, tell him what's been happenin. This is a strange situation and either way you have the disadvantage. Chances are you'll get rejected no matter what, all you can hope for is that he’ll at least be open-minded, then maybe you could worm your way into his heart.” She finishes with a long intake of breath, tired. Draco groans at his predicament. Especially since it's entirely his fault. He looks over towards the Gryffindor table, searching for a wild mane of black hair. He finds it and continues to talk to Pansy, still staring.

“Where should it happen then?”

“If you want privacy, the owlery, no one goes there in the morning or early evening. If you want aesthetics, the Garden or Astronomy tower.” She says the second bit dreamily, hinting for Draco to choose one of those options. Draco notices this, but chooses not to comment.

“I will meet him at the owlery so no one hears us. Also, if he decides to blow up on me, I won't have to deal with onlookers too.” Pansy cringes, disappointed, but knowing she won't change his mind.

“Whatever. You'll need to tell him.” Draco nods and pulls out a piece of paper. He writes a quick message, then walks outside of the Great Hall a few seconds after Harry and his friends. Walking opposite directions, Draco points his wand at the bird-shaped paper and whispers “Locomotor”. He takes a quick glance behind so he knows where to fly the thing. He commands it to do a few flips as it flies in front of Harry and then turns the corner, heading for Herbology.

``  
Something's not right about this, Harry can't seem to shake the thought. Ever since the Malfoys trial over the summer, he's been trying to remind himself that Malfoy never wanted to be a death eater and that he's changed since being a child, but it's incredibly easy to fall into old habits, he decides. Immediately after seeing the familiar bird-shaped paper fly in front of him, he snatched it and read quickly, showing Hermione and Ron.

_Meet me at the Owlery after classes ~~ D._

“What do you think it's about mate?” Ron asks, scrunching his face while reading. Harry shrugs.

“No idea, we haven't spoken since I gave him his wand. You don't think he'd try cursing me after all this do you?” Hermione faces both boys and stops walking.

“Of course not Harry! I can't believe you'd think he'd try cursing you, especially since you've saved each other's lives! He probably just wants to apologize.” She looks frazzled, shaking her head at Harry and Ron.

“Why're you shakin your head at me!?” Ron asks, offended.

“I know that if I don't discourage you too, both of you will run with the idea that he's plotting. Don't look at me like that Ron! It's happened before.” they walk again. Harry falls back slightly as Hermione takes Ron's hand and kisses his forehead, lifting the pout from his lips. Harry frowns a bit and shakes his head, disappointed in himself. He's elated for them, but he can't help wanting someone to love him too. Hermione looks back at Harry to ask him a question.

“So, are you going?”

“I guess.” He huffs.

``  
Classes have ended, and Draco anxiously makes his way to the owlery. Apologizing has never been something he's good at. Even when he knows he's in the wrong, his pride stops him, reminds him that apologizing is not something a Malfoy should do. He feels bad, but that does nothing against the unprecedented hate he has for admitting he's wrong. He hypes himself up, bringing attention to the fact that if Harry reciprocates in the slightest, he might actually have a chance at being happy.

He sits for a minute, his nerves building again in the silence of being alone. He just can't shake the dread of being rejected, of feeling stupid and unwanted. He lifts his head and sees Harry suspiciously making his way up the stairs. Draco pushes off from the railing. 

They make eye contact and stare for a bit. Each waiting for the other to say something first. Harry's eyes finally waver and he says.

“So, what did you want?” He's rolling on the souls of his feet.

“I’m sorry.” Draco says after a minute of hesitation, straightening his shoulders, and holding his chin high. Draco had apologized to Harry before. When Harry had given him his wand, he blurted out said apology, then swiftly walked away. Harry better realize the importance of him saying it twice.

“Pinky promise?” Harry holds out his pinky, smiling just a little.

“Excuse me?” Draco squints his eyes, raising a brow.

“You've said sorry before. If you’re saying it again, you must haven't have meant it the first time. So, pinky promise you mean it?”

“How childish Potter.” Contrary to his tone, he holds out his pinky, looking away. How cute can Harry get? Holding out his pinky as if he's 6 years old again. It's embarrassing how quickly Draco will do something so stupid if Harry wants it. Their pinkies intertwine, and Draco gets nervous. Harry's pinky is warm and fits in the crook of his perfectly. He lets go of Harry quickly, embarrassed just touching his finger makes him happy.

“You have something else to say.” Harry looks at Draco thoughtfully. When Draco has the chance, he keeps going. He never just leaves it at that. Draco huffs, he closes his eyes wanting to pretend he wasn't here. He can't though, he's a Malfoy and Malfoys aren't cowards. Draco snaps his eyes open and starts.

“I'm a Veela,” Draco resorts to insults to keep his nervousness in check, ”I know you don't know what that is Potter, so let me give you a rundown. I have a mate which just so happens to be you,” Draco leaves out the full truth,” So if you wouldn't mind, I'd appreciate it if you let your brain comprehend that for a second before you say anything.” Harry's mouth opens agape.

“I thought you hated me?” Harry seems almost pleading. If he thinks real hard, he realizes he's never really hated Harry. At first, it was just jealousy towards the reputation he had. Then, anger for rejecting his friendship so quick. Rejection. Their entire relationship had started with rejection, and could just as easily end with it too. After that, it was a slow decline to a want. Wanting the smile Harry had for his friends to be aimed his way. Wanting the unnoticed touches he gave his peers to be for him.

“I just wanted your attention.” Draco is trying to stay calm and push the butterflies down, but Harry scoffs and he can feel his resolve dwindling.


	2. 2

“Attention! You attack me in the bathrooms, call my friends names, get Buckbeak executed, go out of your way to ruin my life, to get my fucking attention?” Harry's breathing hard now. Malfoys eyes widen at Harry's reaction.  
“I had to go back in fucking time to stop an innocent creature from being killed,” Malfoy speaks up, “Wait, what-” Harry keeps going. “all because you wanted me to notice you? Malfoy, you're already the first person I look for going into rooms. You're the first person who comes to mind when I turn corners, hoping I don't run into you and get hexed. I always told myself, ‘Hey Harry, he's probably a royal arse because of the way he's raised, there's gotta be some logical explanation.’, but it's because you wanted my attention. Do you know how damn well fucked that is?” Harry swings his arms out, raising his brows. His hair goes frizzy and sticks up angrily.  
“Look, I know you won't be able to see past what I've done immediately, and I'm not asking you to forgive me. I just need physical contact with you in order to not go crazy. So could we please avoid a tantrum worthy of an Oscar?” Harry notices sweat on Malfoys forehead, and his eyes move constantly as he talks.  
“You really expect me to touch you after what you admitted?” Harry can feel his glasses shake.  
“I've already said sorry! I did your childish promise! If I remember correctly my words were ‘ wanted your attention’, meaning past tense. I obviously don't agree with my child self!”  
“Doesn't matter! That was the reasoning. Someone who pulls stunts like that, for a reason so dumb, can't possibly completely change .”  
“That's hardly fair Potter!” Harry hears a break, and half of his vision is obscured with cracked glass.  
“Whatever.” Harry huffs, and Malfoy calls out to him, trying to grab his arm. 

_Impedimenta!_ Echoes through the owlery as Malfoy flies back and Harry runs down the stairs.

``

Harry storms into the Gryffindor common room - Hermione shoots up, taking in his appearance. Ron wakes up from lack of heat on his lap. Ron, bleary-eyed, takes in Harry's look as well.  
“I'm taking it didn't go well?” Ron asks, voice gruff. Hermione shoots him a quick glare before sitting down on a neighboring couch, patting the space next to her as Harry strides over, stomping loudly. He flops down, throwing his limbs across everything, including Hermione.  
“Ow Harry! Just because you're heated doesn't mean I'll allow you to use me as your ottoman!” She squawks. Harry pulls into himself, embarrassed and feeling guilty.  
“Sorry ‘Mione.” He mumbles, not looking her in the eye. She pats his shoulder in acceptance.  
“Come here,” Harry turns himself to face her, “I'll fix it.”

_Repairo_

His glasses mend, and Harry sighs.  
“Tell me what happened Harry.” She says while pulling Harry's head onto her shoulder and wraps her arm around him. Harry's hair frizzes again as he talks.  
“He apologized and everything was fine. I even tried messing around with him ‘Mione, I think he tried messing back, I couldn't really tell. Then he tells me he's Veela and I'm his mate! Who just says that?” Ron interrupts, face scrunched in confusion. “Wasn't Fleur part Veela or something?” Harry groans, “I don't know Ron, unlike you I had other things to do than ogle Fleur,”  
“Anyway, I brought up the fact he's hated me since school started, and he goes ‘I wanted your attention.’.” Harry mocks in an unflattering voice, “so obviously when he tries telling me I just need to touch him, I list all the things he's done, then ask why I would want to touch him, so it's safe to say he got the point when I knocked him back after he tried grabbin me.” Harry and Ron share a triumphant type smile.  
“Harry!” Hermione shouts, retracting her arm and slapping the back of his head.  
“Ow, What?” Harry's eyes widen and Ron Shrinks into the couch, avoiding the lecture bound to happen.  
“He tries having a conversation with you and you jinx him? I doubt he was forcing you to accept his apology!”  
“I mean he did say I didn't have to forgive him at all-” Harry says, tone implying a but was coming.  
“Ugh, he was trying to give you space to think. He came to you with very personal information, expecting you to talk to him like an adult.”  
“‘Mione, you're acting like he hasn't tortured us for years.”  
“I'm not saying to forgive him Harry. I'm saying you could've acted more your age, maybe tried to listen to everything. I doubt that's all he had to say! Judging by your appearance when you came in here, you definitely overreacted. Now, I'm off to the library. I've got Veelas to research.” Hermione says, walking out of the common room without looking back.  
“Harsh mate. She's downright scary.” Ron speaks up when she's out of earshot.  
“She's right isn't she?” Harry asks with a groan, letting his head fall to the back of the couch. Ron shrugs.  
“She usually is.”

``

It's been a few days since Draco talked to Harry. After being jinxed, he tried going about his life like before - lonely, full of homework, and miserable. Except he quickly realized it was hard to act normal when somehow life got harder. Instead of having nice fluffy dreams that left him meditative - he has nightmares that leave him shaken to his core. The dreams used to be the same thing every time that made him feel good, now they differ every night- leaving him with another thing to drop on top of his tower of troubles. Harry leaving him to the flames that took Crabbe, Harry putting the whole of the school against him, Harry telling everyone what happened and how pathetic he must have looked, but worst of all the nightmares where he was the one that caused fear.  
His most recent nightmare had been Draco revealing Harry at the manor. Draco had laughed and turned to his aunt, pointing out the fact he didn't think Harry could get any uglier. His aunt had dragged Harry to Voldemort and cackled as he threw him around, taunting. Draco just stood there. Giggling while Harry cried and sputtered, and then there was a bright green light. He'd woken up particularly shaken. He could handle Harry screwing him over or hating him. Never the other way around. Coupled with the new nightmares, he now dons a permanent headache that potions can't taper.  
As if it couldn't get worse, Harry has been following him. Just like 6th year. He tries to be inconspicuous - but that's never really been Harrys strong suit has it? It makes it arduous to focus, with Harrys eyes burning into his every move. Since he's so close all the time, his Veela side has gradually been pulling Draco apart. It gives him nightmares and stuffs headaches down his throat, begging him to just get closer. Make Harry see that they're meant to be. That side of him is foolish. He should've accepted his fate. He should have dealt with the longing dreams - he shouldn't have told his mother. Now there's no reconciling. Draco can feel his throat closing up, and instead of walking into the Great hall like he'd been meaning to, he passes it and heads to the second-floor girls lavatory.

He plods through the door and stops in the middle of the restroom.  
“Myrtle?” The girl whizzes out of a stall and heads straight for Draco.  
“‘Draco! You haven't visited me in so long, I-” She starts, but decides against complaining when she sees his face. “Are you alright, Dragonfly?” She asks pouting and floats beside him as he heads to sit on the lone step to the toilets.  
“I told Harry,” Draco sniffs, “a few days ago.” Myrtle sits down beside him, laying her head on his shoulder.  
“Why didn't you come sooner? We could have talked about it? Maybe we could have come up with a plan.” She says sadly, knowing it couldt have ended well if he was about to cry.  
“The one time I rush into things and act like a Gryffindor, everything immediately falls apart.” He says laughing, wiping away a tear. “I guess doing that only works out for Harry.”  
“How detailed did you get?” She moves her head so she can see his face clearly.  
“Well, I may have told him less than the basics before he blew up on me and ran away. I get it though, why would anyone listen to their previous tormentor?” Tears are sliding freely down his face now. Myrtle wishes dearly that she could wipe them away, but settles for resting her arm around him, almost a side hug.  
“He may be justified in running away, but maybe if you told him how important it is to you, he'll listen?” She asks, grasping at any possible solution, anything to keep her Dray-Dray from crying.  
“I can't! I don't deserve his time anyway. I wish the nightmares and pain would stop. It's almost as if my own mind is mocking me.” His chest heaves with the deep breaths he's taking and he can't keep himself from shaking. “I've ruined everything Myrtle! All because I was a jealous lovestruck little boy whose only way to get his crush's attention was to make him feel horrible! Do you know how much I regret it? It eats me up from the inside. The horrible things I said to Granger? Then listening to her screams on my drawing-room floor, while the Weasly pounds on the wall. I've done unforgivable things..” Draco sobs. He bursts up from his position, instead taking to walking in a circle.  
Dracos wailing, trying to keep himself quiet, closes his mouth and covers it with his hand. Consequently, he chokes on his tears, making his throat burn.  
“You need to calm down Dragon!” Myrtle flies forward, covering her neck in panic. She's looking around wildly, trying to think of anything she could do. Dracos hyperventilating, his head feels light. He's mumbling about his failures and how this one has to be the biggest yet. The room seems to be closing up around him.

``

“Ron have you even started researching for your potions essay yet?” Hermione asks with a puff.  
“Course ‘Mione.” Ron replies looking to the left, away from her. He brings his arm up to scratch his neck. Hermione hums, not satisfied.  
“And you Harry?” SHe switches, just about to walk into the Great hall. Harry doesn't hear her. He's quite preoccupied with watching Malfoy pause at the doors, then deciding against it, heading for the stairs. He stops walking for a second, looking after him. Suddenly he's elbowed in the ribs and he grabs his side in reflex.  
“Seriously Harry? You rant about him for 10 minutes in unfiltered hate then fall back into stalking? What kind of thriller novel do you think this is?” Hermione questions agitatedly.  
“I'm going after him. Somethings not right.” He says suspiciously, barely hearing Ron mutter something about him being an idiot before he's gone, falling into a fast stride to catch up with the blonde.

He surveys Malfoy as he sullenly opens the doors to Moaning Myrtle's bathroom. He waits for a minute. Following Malfoy into the bathroom might not be a good idea. I mean, that is where _Sectumsempra_ was used on him. At the thought, Harry cringes and he feels a pang of guilt. He shakes his head, now's not the time. Interested, he follows regardless. At once he's aware of desperate weeping coming from somewhere inside. Startled, he hides behind a pillar, not wanting to interrupt something so intimate like the last time. That doesn't mean he won't listen though - he doesn't have the nerve of a Gryffindor for nothing.  
“I've ruined everything Myrtle! All because I was a jealous lovestruck little boy whose only way to get his crush's attention was to make him feel horrible! Do you know how much I regret it? It eats me up from the inside. The horrible things I said to Granger? Then listening to her screams on my drawing-room floor, while the Weasly pounds on the wall. I've done unforgivable things..” Concerned, Harry peaks around to see the state Malfoys in. Myrtle is trying to help, but considering she isn't a solid being, it doesn't seem to be working.  
Perhaps Draco was being genuine earlier in the week. He looks so distressed - surely no one would act like this on their own time if it wasn't real. Harry's palms begin to sweat, and he has a sudden need to help Malfoy. Even if it is his former rival, seeing someone in this state is troubling.  
.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you think somethings different about this chapter, it is. I tried writing in a published book type format, which ive found i absolutely love. i also edited what date he got a mate in the last chapter, for reasons.... im really excited about this project! I usually have a really hard time following through on stuff, but this story i havent had many troubles, besides taking a month to write the first chapter....oofers. I hope you enjoy :)


	3. 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooooo. School started and i completely forgot this story existed for a couple weeks. Sadly because of that this chapter is a bit shorter. I didn't want to leave you waiting any longer. Im gonna try to update along with hw, so this doesn't happen again, but I won't guarantee it. when I get stressed I kind of freeze and then I don't write OR do hw, so, yeah. Hopefully you don't mind? anyway, I got feedback that the pacing might be a little fast, so I tried slowing down a bit in this one. Hopefully it doesn't seem wordy or unnecessarily stretched.  
> ₜₕₐₙₖₛ 𝒻ₒᵣ ₜₕₑ 𝒸ₒₘₘₑₙₜₛ ₜₕₑᵧ ₘₐₖₑ ₘᵧ 𝒹ₐᵧ :₎

Harry stalks out from behind the pillar and makes his way to Malfoy. Myrtle lets out an exaggerative gasp, face contorting into resentment.  
“Get out!” Myrtle screeches, flying in front of Malfoy. Harry jumps, yelling in shock. Malfoy just cries louder, Myrtles outburst obviously not helping.  
“I thought I could help!” Harry barked, throwing his hands up in exasperation.  
“How could you possibly help? You're the reason for his distress!” Myrtle booms. Harry groans.  
“I don't know, at least I can touch him!” He says quick, “Not like that.” Harry mumbles to himself, the tiniest bit flustered. He strides over to Malfoy. Harry doesn't know what to do, he's never been the comforting type. Ginny always mentioned how shit he was at it when they were together. Hesitant, he hovers his hands over the other man's shoulders. Harry remembers back to when Malfoy mentioned he just needed him to touch him, he doesn't know if it will help in this situation but it's all he's got. Deciding to go big or go home, Harry pulls Malfoy into his chest and wraps his arms around him.   
“Prick. What're you doing here?” Malfoy asks, not pulling away. He brings his hands up and rests them on Harry's chest, still crying.  
“I'm helping.” Harry says matter-of-factly.  
“Are you now? I thought you didn't want to help me.” Malfoy goes to pull away, but Harry's hold tightens. Harry hooks his chin down onto the place between his shoulder and neck, discouraging Malfoy from moving backwards. Malfoy looks down at the shorter boy, only succeeding in sticking his face in the others' unruly hair. Malfoy exhales harshly out of his nose to blow it away.   
“Well, I do, so - deal with it.” Harry says, far from graceful. With Malfoy pressed so close, Harry becomes self conscious. He shifts, uncomfortable. Gradually Malfoys tears stop until he's only left sniffling. Malfoy pulls himself back, only a few steps, blank faced, and makes eye contact with Harry. Malfoy's eyes are puffy and red, but he seems to ignore that fact, his hair falling from its perfectly set position on his head. Harrys never sees Malfoy so disheveled, his natural hair suits him more, Harry thinks. Seconds pass and no one talks, trying to avoid an awkward atmosphere Harry asks.  
“You probably want to talk right?” Harry slides his hands down his robe pockets and rolls on his feet.  
“I wanted to talk before but you ended up jinxing me and running. I doubt you'll stay the second time around.” Malfoy scoffs, his eyes squinting.  
“No! I will, I promise!” Harry whines while rubbing the back of his neck.   
“Promise huh?” Malfoy sticks out his hand, wiggling his pinky. Harry's eyes widen.   
“Didn't you call me childish?” Harry mentioned, disoriented.  
“I'm humoring you, don't want you running away again, do we?” Harry frowns and turns away, sticking his hand out nonetheless. They shake and Malfoy starts.  
“I'd prefer if you kept your mouth shut. Complain all you want after I'm done.” Malfoy sneers.  
“Jeez. You don't have to be so rude about it.” Malfoy raises an eyebrow and Harry stops. He looks so good when he does that, Harry thinks quickly.  
“Long story sho-” Malfoys cut off by Harry.  
“I'm sorry.” Harry Murmurs.  
“Did you really cut me off when I just said not to talk? And for what, Saint Potter?” Malfoy asks exasperatedly. He crosses his arm and taps his foot.  
“Sorry... I'm apologizing for acting so rashly. Your words angered me and the only thing I could think of was wanting to be somewhere else. All I'm saying is I should've stayed to hear you out a little more.” Harry insisted with a shy shrug, glancing away. Myrtle, in the background, having observed the situation, determines that Harry is helping. Quiet as a ghost, Myrtle slips off and into her toilet.  
“You really couldn't have waited till I was done?” Malfoy shakes his head at Harry.  
“Damn it Malfoy! I'm trying to be nice, can't you just take the apology and leave it?” Harry inquires bamboozled. Sensing the other boy's affliction, Malfoy brings himself down a peg.  
“Mm, I suppose so. I accept your apology, Potter,” Malfoy hums, softening his expression the tiniest of amounts. “Can I finally get to what's important?” Harry nods, registering the fact Malfoy didn't argue.  
“Marvelous. Long story short, I'm part Veela. I have a mate, but that only directly affects me,” Malfoy pauses. “You just so happen to be my mate.” Malfoy props his right elbow on his left arm, tucked into his chest, and examines his nails.  
“Ever since the show you put on, I've been having immensely painful headaches,” Malfoy leaves out the nightmare part of his affair, not willing to seem vulnerable.” My Veela side is having a laborious time coming to terms with our animosity. Part of having a mate means spending time with them and having regular touches. So, I'm not asking you to submit yourself to a life of obedience. I just need you to hangout with me every so often. Kapeesh?” So basically, the stuff you normally do with someone you've fallen in love with, Draco thinks sourly. There's silence. The two men stare at each other, unaware of what to do.  
“So, in theory, you just need a cuddle buddy?” Harry suggests, tone rising along with his smile. Malfoys mouth falls agape, dumbfounded.  
“You're totally missing the point! Were supposed to be together for the rest of our lives. That's why mates exist, so people get happily ever afters. Sure, this can start out platonic, we can be ‘cuddle buddies’,” Malfoy quotes with his fingers. “But eventually that won't be enough.” He finishes.  
“Um, Malfoy?” The other man groans in response, eyes shut.  
“What the fuck do you mean by the rest of our lives?” Harry goes stiff.  
“Exactly what it sounds like, you twat. Being a Veela's mate is basically like a Muggles equivalent to a soulmate. Which i hope isn't surprising to you, considering they both have ‘mate’ in them.” Malfoy states, studying Harry. Harry lets out an ‘Oh’, his hair curling in on itself, making it look tight. If you could even call hair tight. Harry's brain appears to be going 1,000 miles a minute because questions instantly fill his mind. Why would they be soulmates? How could they possibly give each other happily ever afters? Is he gonna have to snog another bloke? Does this mean he'll never be able to get another girlfriend? What if- Said boy backtracks a second, trying to figure things out, and drops his interest on another thing the blonde said.  
“What do you mean ‘won't be enough’? Not enough for you or for your Veelas side?” Slightly surprised Harry could think of something so subtle he answers.  
“Obviously my Veela side.” He deceives. They're one in the same, really. But that hinges on the fact that Draco fell in love on his own, which he's concretely decided Harry will never know. Dracos headache grows more from the previous crying and it's almost impossible to see the room correctly.  
“Any questions or concerns?” He continues, desperately wanting to nap. Harry looks thoughtful.  
“Why do I _need_ to be around you?”   
“Ugh, because, Potter, if _you_ don't, _my_ symptoms just get worse. It's like actively rejecting your ‘Soulmate’,” He says, voice dripping with disdain. “We have to fill the quota because my Veela side knows what's best for us and it's better if you don't question it. Look, I'm not banking on this actually _helping_ us, it probably chose you more for bringing a lowly death eater to the light than for your own sake.” It's teetering on true. Draco loves him because he is the light. Everything he wishes to be. Has always wished to be. If they were together, it would only benefit Draco, he's not wrong on that. The Daily Prophet would have a grand old time writing about the defamed Malfoy heir tricking their gracious Potter into his poisoned touch.   
Harry is his mate because he fell in love with him and the universe concluded they could help each other. In every way. But Draco just can't believe that. There's no possible way Harry could want or require anything from him. He's done just fine on his own. They both have. Haven't they? Draco shakes his head with heavy movements.  
“Malfoy, you're not a Death Eat-”  
“Save your pity. The image on my arm is proof enough.” He says, edging his arm behind his back without noticing. Draco hangs his head low, closing his eyes.  
“I need to go. My headache is making being calm out of the question.” He takes a big inhale as he heads for the door. Harry's eyes widen at his openness.  
“But I thought if I touched you, you wouldn't get them?”  
“This one is from the crying.” He states, ashamed.  
Harry walks after him, hugging the blonde from behind. Draco gives a start and looks back at the other. Before Draco can say anything Harrys already talking  
“I-I just thought, that if uh, I give you this now you won't get another headache for a while. So at least it won't be doubled?” Harry's tone rises and he takes a step back. Dracos still looks at him from over his shoulder as he exclaims.  
“Thank you.” Before walking out.


	4. 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so, im failing most of my classes and anytime I draw or write I get really guilty that I'm not doing schoolwork, so I've just been playing video games, because that's definitely gonna solve my problems :) Im sorry if this chapter is shit. It was written over the course of a few months so my ideas are disjointed and the style is all over the place, but I didn't want you guys to think this is discontinued so I worked till 630 in the morning to finish it -_- Ive just realized this story will prob have a lot of plot holes because I've never been good at being organized, so try to look past it? hopefully the self indulgence indulges you as well. Anyway, sorry for venting my problems, Proceed~~~

Towards the middle of the library lies a table. Invaded by piles upon piles of books. Some of which have not been disturbed in decades, immaculate layers of dust finally tore through by fingerprints. Passing students surprised by the sight of it all. A certain ginger surely wishing for death, watches as his girlfriend returns with more.   
“‘Mione,” He groans “ we can't possibly need this many books.” Ron watches as Hermione sets down part 1, 2, and 3 of “Creatures of the Unusual” by Selgy Aneme, astounded.   
“Be quiet Ron. You know i must do my very best to aid Harry in this unexpected predicament.” Her eyes scrunch and he gets to work sorting through the piles right away.  
They’ve been at it for hours, and Ron's chagrined. He had complained and complained the whole time, Hermione never once faltering in her mission. Barely any texts have information on Veelas; Hermione's agitation continues to grow. With every book she passes to the side she lets out a huff, frizzy hair flying.   
“Yes!” Ron yells into the silence “There's a passage about Veelas in this one!” he pushes the book forward, standing up in record time.  
“And with that, I'm gonna go play some chess.” Ron exclaims with excitement, smile reaching his eyes.  
“Ronald no-” The woman starts, but her partner is already long gone, she only just sees his flaming orange hair as he exits with a pep in his step.  
“But what if this isn't the one?” She asks herself with a pout.  
Pretending her boyfriend didn't leave her so readily, she peers down at the book, praying to all of Merlin it contains useful information. Contrary to popular belief, even she can get worn down by spending so much time searching for books. Sighing as she realizes Ron shut the book, she scans down the contents.   
_“Veelas - pg. 346”_  
She flicks through the pages before coming across said topic and scans the headings.   
_History…  
Heritage…  
Abilities…  
Mates… _  
She stops with a long inhale, fingers crossed and starts reading.   
_When bonded, the two participants' magic potential skyrockets. During this period of approx. A week, their bodies will determine whether this newfound power should be lessened or even taken back in some cases. Dependent on the wizards restraint, magical outbursts are common, espec-_  
That doesn’t sound good, _newfound power_ that causes outbursts? Harry already has outbursts! She thinks with raised brows. She searches for what bonding might demand. She expects the worst. From her knowledge of similar species, like werewolves, their bonding process is quite uncouth, containing unfathomable mess, destruction - even injuries!  
 _As you know a mate is chosen on the properties of love and not illusion. So of course the bonding process has to show this. Unlike other species, Sirens (pg. 648), bonding does not include sex or marks. Even though sex is done out of love, this type of love, irreversible and persistent, does not require such a show. One merely needs to take the final step, which is different for each couple. Examples would include, a first kiss, confession, or simply even an act of kindness in the most unusual cases.  
Nevertheless to even get to that point one must be on good terms with ones partner. For how will such bonding materialize without a base? _  
Love? She thinks, curious. So, technically mates aren’t chosen at random? Though falling in love usually seems random at the time. Rarely does it ever make sense. She smiles as she thinks of a certain freckled git. Sighing, she continues as the sun gradually slips from the room.

```  
“Draco, honey? You do know that it's been three days since Potter decided to help you, right?” Pansy points out as she slides next to him on his bed. He shifts his focus from the feathers on the floor to his friends face and answers.  
“Yes Pans, I know that.” His eyes droop and his head lulls as he speaks to her, but even in such a state irritation still easily drips from his voice. She smoothes out the wrinkles in his pajama pants that lays on his thigh and sighs.  
“Then why haven’t you met up with him yet? He watches you anytime you’re in proximity. He’s confused, waiting.”   
“I don't need him yet. I can go a few more days.”  
“Well, I don't believe you and i'm not going to sit here while my best friend wastes away in the remains of his pillow!” Her voice raises as she catches sight of the feathers Draco oh so carefully stuffed under his bed. “Why have you done that anyway?”   
“It wasn't on purpose. I squeezed it too tight when I woke up.”  
“Doesn't look like you fell asleep at all to me.” He huffs.  
“The nightmares-” He wraps his arms around himself and looks away. Pansy nods her head for him to continue.  
“Nothing. I just can't sleep very long.”  
“Fine. If you don't want to talk about it, I won't make you, but I will force you to see him. You know he won't stay silent forever. Whether out of curiosity or concern, i do not know, but he will speak.”  
“You can't force me to do anything Pansy. You’re not my mum.”  
“We’ll see.” She says then stands, magicing the feathers back into their case and   
sealing it.   
“Get dressed. Breakfast is ending soon, Your day’s going to be rough.” She smiles and pats him on the cheek before leaving.

``

His eyes sting suddenly for the twentieth time that day and the ache in his shoulder from his bag is draining. He wants to cry, to drop to the floor, let all the people who glare at him in the hall stomp over him till there's nothing left. Maybe then the pain that takes multiple forms would subside. Maybe then the ache in his heart that accompanies the one in his shoulder would vanish, but alas, Malfoys do not cry and pain does not go away.   
Draco pinches his wrist to keep his eyes open as he walks through the door to the DADA classroom. Immediately he searches for Pansy and drags his feet her way when he finds her. The desks are pushed against the walls, curtains left open letting light far too bright inside and the professor stands straight in the front of the room.   
“Hi Pans.” Draco says with a small smile her way, feeling bad for his attitude she had to deal with. Unforeseen, Pansy neither answers nor acknowledges his presence. Her eyes never stray from the magazine in her hand. Unbelieving that Pansy would ignore him, he tries again.  
“Pansy?” He taps her bicep, but still she does not respond.  
“Fine.” He resigns, irritated and moves down the room to a spot that’s empty. How could his mood possibly drop anymore?   
Harry, Hermione, and Ron walk into the room just as the professorer begins to talk, explaining the task for the day.  
“Pick a partner, because today we’ll be practicing nonverbal magic!” She chirps, making eye contact with students here and there.  
“One will be casting the knockback jinx while the other casts Protego. Tomorrow the roles will be reversed, so choose wisely! Don't wanna be stuck with someone you hate.” She laughs and Draco rolls his eyes. She continues to talk about technique and theory for a moment before she finally allows the students to work. Begrudgingly he looks to Pansy, hoping she's gotten tired of the silent treatment. They lock eyes and she points with expectance in front of her. There Harry stands alone, Granger and Weasley already making their way to another part of the room, teeth showing and hands clasped. Scoffing, Draco shakes his head and strolls over to her.  
“Stop jesting, i'm not in the mood.” He stops to sit his stuff down. “You Protego this time.” When she doesn't draw her wand though Draco groans. She really is going to be a pain in the arse today huh? Before he can protest she sauntars over to Harry and grabs his hand. He can't hear what they’re saying from his spot but when they both make their way over to him he can assume what was said. Pansy drops Harry off and doesn't remain any longer to negotiate, leaving to find her own partner. They stand in silence until Harry speaks.  
“You wanted to be my partner?” He rolls back and forth on his toes with his hands behind him. He noticed the bags under Malfoy's eyes and the droop to his posture the second he got close.  
“She lied.”   
“She lied?” Harry repeats.  
“Yes, she lied. Whatever she told you was incorrect and you should go.” Harry makes no move to leave.  
“Well, even if she lied, wouldn’t this be the perfect time to help you?” He asks, proud of himself for bringing up the topic that had been plaguing his mind for days.  
“Are you daft Potter? How much touch do you think nonverbal magic involves?” Harry drops onto his feet and doesn’t try to mention that it's not just touch he needs but his presence in general, which Malfoy said himself.  
“Why’re you doing this?”  
“Doing what?”  
“Being angry again. I thought things went well.” He says, incredulous.  
“Oh, do you now?" Draco asks offhand.  
"Yes,I do."  
"That's unfortunate."  
"Stop it!"  
"Stop what?"   
"You're not saying anything!"  
"Yes I am, I just replied."  
"You're so frustrating!" Draco doesn't say anything to this and Harry sighs, tone softening. "Why haven't we met up?"  
"I don't _need_ you yet, that's why."  
"Don't lie to me. Have you seen yourself?”  
“I'm not talking about this with you right now.” Draco spins and walks a few feet in front of Harry.  
“Ill be defensive.” Draco says and lifts his wand. Harry huffs but decides not to dwell for too long. Forcing Malfoy into something definitely will not be the way he gets him to talk.   
They take turns, with Harry sending a _Flipendo_ for Draco to deflect. Everything seems fine. If Draco flinches a little bit harder every time Harrys jinx hits his shield, he doesn't notice and if Dracos forehead gets just _that_ bit shinier as the class rages on, Harry doesn't say anything. It's not until Harry’s attack sends Draco flying that everything's not fine. Harry runs to him with a startled shout.  
“Are you ok?” Harry throws a look over his shoulder as the professor watches them with concern. Considering Malfoy isn't complaining too much and there's no blood, he only shakes his head and the Professor , hesitant, goes to help another student. After all, what could go wrong when the boy who lived is watching over him.  
“M’spectacular.” Malfoy hums, but does not move, nhor does he open his eyes. That can't be good can it? So Harry leans forward, sliding his hands under Malfoysa head to look for a wound and hovers over his face. He can't feel anything out of the ordinary. As he pulls his hands away, Malfoy latches onto Harry's right hand with both of his, eyes still closed.   
“What the-'' The bags under Malfoy's eyes are oh so gradually fading. Curious, he takes his unoccupied hand and rubs Malfoys cheekbone. the bag under his right eye dims twice as fast and Harry's face lights up. A dull snore can be heard coming from Malfoy and he takes that as a win. Even more eager now to help, Harry drags his thumb down the crease between Malfoys brows and the blonde's slight pout turns to a subtler smile. Little does Harry know Dracos having the best dream he’s ever had in his life. A dream of calloused hands and warm skin. He knows for once he won't awake with an ache and wants to scream his gratitude at whoever could be accomplishing this.  
“What’re you doing Potter?” Harry jumps Pulling his hands into himself. “People are staring you know.” Out of his stupor, he observes his classmates. Noticing that, indeed, a good majority of them are staring. Turning to the person who spoke, he sees Pansy, with a smirk on her face and her hands on her hips looking down at him.  
“Oh, I was just, you know,” He shrugs his shoulders. “Examining his eyebags?” He answers.  
“Ah yes, of course. Well, do you mind me taking him from you?”  
“No, Um go ahead.” He shuffles out of the way and makes eye contact with Ron as soon as he’s up. By Ron's face he can already tell he’s in line for an interesting conversation and as the class is dismissed and as Ron takes his arm pulling him from the room, he is not as excited as he was a couple minutes ago.


End file.
